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Clive’s Story
Clive Evan Fuller – Hong Kong 2003
Clive worked at the University of Adelaide, Electrical & Electronic Engineering Department, for approximately 35 years. He was Laboratory Manager.
Clive suffered his near fatal stroke on 21 September 1991 at the age of 50. The stroke changed not only his world, but mine and our girls: Penelope and Sarah. We all knew our lives would never be the same again. The stroke stripped Clive of his former self; robbed him of his language and slotted him in the area of disability. He had a new identity and many new challenges.
We as a family entered an unfamiliar world: speech pathology, occupational and physiotherapy, hydrotherapy: all essential to try to get back on track. It was very hard work. In the beginning, Clive struggled with rehabilitation, but he wanted to be the best he could be, to either overcome or come to terms with his physical and hidden disabilities. He experienced many health set-backs plus three falls: breaking his hip; heel and fractured his knee, elbow and fingers – all requiring rehabilitation to learn to walk again, plus he was still struggling with aphasia and the ‘black moods of depression’ – the loss of his former self.
Clive and I were very goal orientated; we worked as a team, we worked through the dark times knowing there will eventually be brighter times: we worked towards a quality future.
Life changed drastically; Clive could no longer work, he suffered both receptive and expressive aphasia and he had a right hemiplegia: life became very isolating for Clive. We both became involved with Stroke SA (1992) and the Talkback Association (1995) – at inception. Through this experience we both gained tremendous insight into the complexities of strokes, speech and valuable services, and along the way we have had the privilege to meet brave people who were travelling along the same path. These two groups were instrumental in breaking down the isolation associated with strokes – especially aphasia.
Clive was handicapped, he tried hard to channel his time into hobbies, he had a great train table, joined a model train club. He had a garage full of old radios, which he tried very hard to restore. He had a passion for old clocks and watches which he attempted to restore (very difficult with one functional hand). Clive was in charge of the watering and helped in the garden. At the bottom of his ‘to do list’ was the kitchen; his job boss of the wash – the dishwasher: his pet hate. He cared for our two cats, two rock ponds of gold fish and two bird aviaries, and weather permitting hooned around on his prize possession – his scooter. To help break down his isolation, Clive went into the University most Friday mornings to touch base with his friends and colleagues. It was important to create a fine balance between work and play.
Do you ever believe in dreams?
Before Clive’s stroke we had planned to travel and revisit some of the countries from our previous trips in 1985 and 1987, but due to his stroke this now created a huge challenge. In 2001 Clive was to celebrate his 60th birthday, his wish to return to Singapore and visit his daughter Sarah in Hong Kong. This was his dream which we as a family worked hard to make come true. We travelled six times during the years 2001-2011, visiting Singapore, Hong Kong, Bangkok, Siem Reap, always making sure we visited Sarah in Hong Kong. Penelope sometimes accompanied us as well. Sarah kindly arranged our itineraries. Clive and I had a 50/50 commitment, he would keep himself fit at the gym, practice his speech and I would do everything possible to get him there.
I asked Clive how he felt about his birthday trip. Because of his aphasia, through stick drawings, charades and his limited speech, he indicated that when he recovered from the coma after his stroke, he thought that nothing would ever take place in his life again. Ten years later, he was still making gains and his dream had come true: he celebrated his 60th birthday in Singapore, a birthday which he thought he would never, ever make. He broke down and wept.
Making and working towards goals, the thread of hope and dreams is important in your struggle in life. These trips kept Clive focused on a future, stimulated his speech and kept himself fit and healthy to be the best he could be.
Clive was diagnosed with terminal cancer March 2011, but being determined, he managed to fulfil the last three goals he set himself: his 70th birthday June 2011 and a return trip to Hong Kong to spend Christmas as a family December that very same year. The last goal was to keep himself fit – he aimed to give his daughter Sarah away at her wedding April 2012: not walking with a quad – but with a walking stick! He stood proud and tall that day.
Clive died 26 September 2012 – 21 years after his stroke.
Although our journey of 21 years was a challenging one, it was very rewarding and meaningful. Clive has proven that just because he suffered a stroke, walked with a hemiplegia and battled with his aphasia, if you work hard toward your goals, life continues to happen; it may be a different life to what you had planned, but none-the-less a rewarding one.
When Clive died, I wrote our memoirs. After journeying with Clive for the 21 years of his stroke, I was inspired by his attitude to be the best he could be, this attitude was enriched by his two beautiful daughters – Penelope and Sarah.
Although Clive had suffered aphasia, went through very tough times, he always was able to flash that smile – a smile that spoke a thousand words. Never give up on HOPE.